Wednesday, February 1, 2012

It's 11 a.m...and I'm done

It's 11 a.m. and I'm done. Done in. Done for the day. Just plain done. I feel like I've given everything I've got and that I've got no more left to give. But here's the problem. I have two kids. I have to find more to give, because they're going to demand that. And they deserve that. Whether they'll get that is another story.

Here's how my day has gone so far, in a nutshell. Bear decided he wasn't going to school today, and he was adamant. He's missed a lot of school lately for one reason or another, so I was equally adamant that he was going. I did my best to listen to him and sympathize with his concerns. I tried to find solutions to what was bugging him. I explained, I pleaded, I snuggled. I did everything. And when nothing else worked, I informed him that if he didn't get dressed, I would get him dressed. You can imagine how that went over.

Bear did eventually get dressed.

Correction...we eventually got Bear dressed. Yes, we. The ODD Dad is working from home today, so he pinned Bear down while I dressed him. Again, you can imagine how that went over. I don't advise pinning your child down to dress him if you don't have to, because it's a pretty miserable process for all involved. It started with just me trying to get him dressed, but between his kicking, screaming, crying and writhing, it took me about 5 minutes just to get his underwear on. That's when I called in the reinforcements.

Once we got Bear dressed, he informed us that he was going to hurt his friends at school so that he could get sent home. Last time he threatened that, I kept him home, but I can't do that everytime. Is he all talk? No idea. Guess we'll find out.

So The ODD Dad carried a struggling Bear out to the van (and I removed the snow brushes after Bear tried to club me with one) and off he and I went to school. The ODD Dad and I had agreed that he would call the school as soon as I was out of the driveway to warn them that we were on our way. (I figured it was the least I could do.) I wasn't sure if I'd need help getting Bear into school, and they're extremely supportive that way. The hand-over went well, and they'll be keeping a close eye on him today.

Did we do the right thing? No clue.

Then on to Stitch. Poor Stitch gets put into his crib for safekeeping when Bear is melting down, and he doesn't like that very much. Stitch is more of a free-range kid, so he doesn't really like being stuck in one place. Add Bear's yelling, screaming, door slamming and toy throwing, and Stitch sometimes gets a little frightened.

Today is a daycare day for Stitch, so after I dropped Bear off I came back home and picked up Stitch. Stitch only started in daycare last week, and he goes two or three days a week. He's settling in well, but it's still pretty new to him. He has a great time once he's there, but that didn't stop him from starting to cry as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Cause that's what I needed today. Then he clung to me, still dressed in his snowsuit and his puppydog hat with the ears on it, with tears streaming down his face. It was all I could do to not bring him back home with me, but I didn't. Instead I turned and walked out, listening to his crying as the door closed behind me.

Then I came home and wrote this. And now that I've shared it, I feel a tiny bit better. I still feel emotionally exhausted, but now at least I can concentrate on getting some work done while the kids are gone. The school hasn't called and neither has the daycare, so the kids must be OK. We're lucky that both our children are in loving, nurturing environments, and I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

They're OK. They're OK. They're OK.

And soon, hopefully I will be too.

10 comments:

  1. I have had those mornings as well. D couldn't get dressed or allow me to dress him for a birthday party that he really wanted to attend. That was a Saturday and I was done. Except not so much...still had the rest of the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've had those days too, Johanna. They always remind me just how serious ADHD/ODD are, that they can totally prevent a child from doing something he's been wanting to do for weeks. It's sad.

      Delete
  2. I'm well familiar with those days... Do what you need to do to replenish your battery. Book yourself a massage, get yourself a facial... Have a nice glass of wine... Remember to take care of yourself even as you take care of those precious little boys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right now there's no time for battery replenishment, but it's on the list for next week. I'm so far behind on client work right now because of all Bear's sleep issues that I can't stop for a second. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and next week I intend to turn off that light and take a nap. ;-)

      Delete
  3. It has been my exoerience with my girls that daycare/school and exposure to the other children, even if at times seems difficult, tends to benefit them in the end. I have not had your experiences raising a child with extra needs but my kids are toddlers always pushing the boundries as they grow.I find when I give them "their time" with their peers they come home having had a blast and we, as parents are refreshed. It makes for a happier home. Sounds like you and Hubby are doing a fabulous job as parents!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you completely, Linds, which is why we've just enrolled Stitch in daycare two days a week. But what I know is good for them and what they think is good for them are often two different things. Bear likes school once he's there and Stitch likes daycare once he settles down, but they fight like anything in the beginning.

      Delete
  4. So you made it all the way to 11 am? Show-off!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! What can I say...I'm a superstar!

      Delete
  5. Sorry for the late comment - I just found your blog and am catching up - but I wanted to affirm you on the daycare front! I am a preschool teacher and it is the absolute best thing you can do to just bring them, hug, kiss, cheery goodbye and GO! Hanging around is way harder on the kid and the teachers / class. Any teacher will tell you that the child is much more likely to feel capable and confident if they are not coddled at drop off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you've found my blog and that you like it enough to catch up, Amy! I really appreciate that. Stitch had been doing really well, but then we had about a week or so where he didn't go, so he's back to not wanting to go. That, and he wasn't feeling too well this past week. He makes me laugh, though, because he sobs and clings like they're going to beat him, but stops before I get 10 feet down the hall. It's pretty funny.

      Delete