Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Identity Crisis

In case you're wondering, yes, I'm still here. I can't tell you how many posts I've started over the past few months and abandoned. The reasons for this are numerous, but part of the reason is that this blog is starting to feel like a sham.

You see, when I first started blogging, we were in crisis mode with Bear. Every day was a new challenge, and I needed somewhere to share what I was going through. This blog gave me a place to do that, and you all helped me see that I wasn't alone. The bonus was that I was able to help others while I helped myself.

The last few months, however, have brought some much needed relief to our household, along with some surprises. It has been smooth sailing with Bear for ages, to the point that I don't really have anything to write about. The ODD behaviour seems to have disappeared, but that's kind of what I used to write about.

Just last month a psychologist with our school board spent two days with Bear, and her findings were kind of surprising...although they probably shouldn't have been. She diagnosed Bear with Aspergers (a form of autism), which explains a lot of his anxiety and behaviours. She removed the diagnosis of ODD because she feels that a lot of his ODD-like behaviour was due to his Aspergers. That makes total sense, but it leaves me with a bit of a dilemma.

I'm The ODD Mom. It's who I've become over the past few years. It's how I've come to see myself, in many respects. If Bear no longer has ODD and I no longer have anything to write about in this blog, what happens to The ODD Mom and this blog? I'm just not sure...

14 comments:

  1. You realize by putting that into writing that you have conjured a humdinger of a regression, right?

    Seriously. You talk about things that other people need support with. So it's not ODD, it's Aspergers. PotAto, PotAHto. We still need your insights. Whether it's Aspergers, ODD, ADHD, OCD, or ABC-our kids need you and your brave.

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    1. You figure I jinxed myself? LOL I'll let you know. But thanks for the encouragement.

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  2. The general public needs people like you. You post about your life, your trials, your bumps in the road... things that far too many people are suffering through alone. Far too many people dismiss these conditions as a lack of fresh air, improper died, and excuse to medicate and make kids be the perfect robot children "should be".

    There needs to be more blogs, more support and so much more education. I have had no less than six people conirm the diagnosis' I have for my daughter, and about ten times that tell me there is nothing, that I just need to parent better, to feed her differently, to parent like them.

    It's a hard road we travel, and you provide so much inspiration, so much motivation, and so much better in this world.

    I have personally learned a lot from reading this blog (and Facebook page), felt so much support, and been inspired to do something similar and within my community, for which I thank you.

    Be it ODD, Aspergers, or any other trio of alphabet, you have made a difference, and I am sure you will continue to do so.

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    1. Thanks so much for the encouraging words, Jess. I love that you found inspiration from this blog to do something similar. I've found inspiration in your words. :-)

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    2. Thank you, for all you have done, and all you have helped and for those you will continue to do the same for.

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  3. If you're wondering whether you still fit in with us Moms of kids with learning differences/2E, etc...ABSO-freakin-LUTELY!! Your insights are invaluable! Regardless of what they're calling his diagnosis.

    If you're unsure about a name..how about Odd Mom Out

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  4. I want to begin by saying thank you. Your blog has provided me with a great deal of support and encouragement. I appreciate that your blog tells it like it is, an element that I think is so often missing in blogs.

    I think the next step of your journey will be fascinating and I hope you continue to write. Going from an ODD diagnosis to Asperger’s will be a huge leap. It seems to me that you will have so many more resources at your disposal. Plus it will be interesting to hear about your experience as an Aspie Mom as opposed to ODD Mom. Will you experience more support and empathy from others? How will your educational experience change? How will your home life change? You have so much more to share and are an incredible asset to our community. Thank you for all of your hard work and I hope you continue to blog.

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  5. I really enjoy reading your blog as well. I would agree that ADHD, ODD, Aspergers, Autism all share many common links. As parents of these special children, we can all learn something from each other. So please keep on blogging.

    I have a question for you... How did they make the distinction that this was Aspergers and not ODD or ADHD? There are so many similarities, what made them finally diagnose him as having Aspergers? And, what are they / you doing differently to help Bear? What new techniques are you using? (Maybe a blog post for you?) :)

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  6. Oh but my dear, just because life throws you a change up pitch, it doesn't mean that you have to throw in the towel completely.
    For example, I started my blog because I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. It morphed into bipolar disorder. While a lot of my writing does focus on my current health, I do advocate and write about postpartum depression.
    People are listening to you. They are learning and are inspired. What you have to say is important. Perhaps changing directions will open a whole new world for not only you but your readers and future ones.
    You're not a sham...promise xo

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  7. I have truly enjoyed reading your blog and regardless of whether you are the ODD mom or not, you are helping people. It's really not always easy to be frank and straightforward about these issues. I really admire that you can do so and have gained valuable comfort in reading about your journey. The fact that the journey is now going well is something to be celebrated - and this too can bring comfort and insight to your readers. I also think people (myself included)will be really interested in hearing about the new diagnoses, how it was differentiated and how that now effects you. Blog on my friend, in whatever form that takes.

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  8. Welcome back Laura, your story-weaving has been missed. You can still express yourself through the challenges of general child-rearing, and/or any concomittant challenges of Aspergers. Your voice needs to be heard, so blog on!

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  9. When I first subscribed to your blog my son had just been diagnosed with ADHD & ODD at 5yrs old, the insight into your life with your special Bear gave me invaluable reassurance that I wasn't alone. Your stories have inspired me and at times reduced me to tears of laughter. Yet 18 months down the line my son has just been diagnosed with ASD & ADHD combined.....Diagnosis change, behaviour gets better (somedays worse again) You're not a fraud it's just a new step in Bears story.

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  10. I am a new follower here. Starting with the most recent post, I have only gotten this far ( but just started a few minutes ago). Please continue to blog. My son just turned 9. He was diagnosed at 6 with ODD. But I truly believe he has Aspbergers. We are about to start going to a new therapist as the one we are using doors nothing. His advice was " Keep doing what you're doing and hope for the best." I need more than that. So now I am out here in blog land, looking for answers too. I can't wait to read more of your story. I also would like to know what happened to change the diagnosis. Thank you for writing this blog.

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  11. I too have just found your blog, (left a message on your post from Oct/12) and hope you continue to blog as well! I haven't gotten through all your posts, but have bookmarked it, to do so, when I have some time.
    Like some of the other posters have said, be it ODD or Aspergers, or ADHD, we can all use some advice, insight and stories, (even if it's just to let us know, we are not alone!) I'm not sure how old Bear is, but like your son, the ODD symptoms have diminished for my son, (and although he has had no formal diagnosis, I in my heart always thought my son had Aspergers). My son, now 11, goes through weeks/months without an incident, but then all hell will break lose, (with no apparent reason) and we will have a week of relapse.... (so enjoy the lull and the peace).
    You, my dear are not a fraud, but a GOOD parent who has been a wonderful advocate for your child and I feel that although these kids never "outgrow" their disorders, they learn to manage them better, through good parenting and self awareness, which is probably a good reason for the "smooth sailing" right now.
    Kudos to you, and maybe during the "quiet" times, you can have a guest contributor tell stories about their child and what they are going through (many of us, don't have blog, just read others, but have LOTS of stories, (horror and heartwarming) to share about their children). Anyway that's just my 2 cents worth.... but I hope you continue to blog, nonetheless!
    Thanks Laura

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