Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Message to an ODD Grandmother

The other day I received a beautiful email that touched my heart, and I wanted to share it with you.

Hello ODD Mom...thank you so much for doing this blog...my daughter is coping with an ODD 7 yr. old boy and I feel so helpless to help her. I look forward to getting your blog and getting some insight on this condition. God Bless you for your help! Nana
 
Dear Nana,
 
Thank you so much for your beautiful email -- your love for your daughter and your grandson shines through. Having a child with mental health issues can be extremely lonely. Many parents don't have anyone to talk to about it or someone who understands what they're going through. Although you may feel helpless to help your daughter, I want to tell you that you're not. You may not be able to make everything all better for her, which as a mother I know you want to do, but you can do more than you think.  
  • Tell her you love her.
  • Tell her you're proud of her.
  • Tell her she's a good mother.
  • Share positive things about your grandson with your daughter. Parents of children with ODD don't often hear a whole lot of nice things about their children, but every parent needs to. Does he have a kind smile? An infectious laugh? A curious nature? A great sense of humour? A great imagination? Is he smart? Is he good with animals? Is he patient with a younger sibling? Does he notice things other people miss? The possibilities are endless, even if you have to get creative.
  • Ask her what you can do to help -- come prepared with ideas. Having a child with ODD can make even everyday tasks difficult. Can you pick up groceries every now and then? Can you provide a casserole for the family to eat every couple of weeks so she doesn't have to cook? Can you help clean the house once in a while? Can you take the other kids to their activities or pick them up after school?
  • Offer to take your grandson off her hands for an hour, even if it's only long enough for her to go to the library, get her hair cut, have a nap, or do the groceries. If you can handle him for two hours, then rent a movie, pop some popcorn, and spend some time with him.
  • Listen to her when she needs to talk.
  • Respect her decisions. If she tells you that a certain behaviour needs to be treated a certain way, do it. If she asks you not to feed him a certain food because she's noticed it sets him off, believe her.
  • Invite the whole family over for dinner but make sure it's a relaxing time, not a stressful event. Set the kids up in front of the TV, feed them their favourite dinner, and allow your daughter to sit down for a quiet supper. Look after her for a few hours -- you'd be amazed how good that feels when you're spending all your energy on someone else.
  • Love your grandson unconditionally. Tell him you love him and that you love spending time with him. Kids with ODD often have a hard time fitting in, and so that unconditional love is so important. Parents of children with ODD often feel that their children are unwelcome, so that unconditional love is important for them as well. (Note: Unconditional love doesn't mean letting your grandson get away with murder. Children with ODD may not take kindly to discipline, but they still need it.)
These ideas might seem small to you, but they can go a long way in helping your daughter and giving her strength on this journey. Trust me...I speak from experience.

11 comments:

  1. I really appreciate that email you wrote that that Grandma. I think sometimes it's hard for the grandparents to understand or deal with their grandchildren when they have issues. My brother might've been ODD but I was a sister not a Mom so I have a different view of what happened in our house as we were growing up. But my brother and my son are so similar it's amazing and my Mom feels like she's reliving my brother's childhood all over again. She still feels like she was unsuccessful at that and as a result has issues with dealing with my son. She gets equally as frustrated as I do but it is nice to have a kindred soul on the other end of the phone.

    -Apryl

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I just found my new best friend, although you don't even know it yet :) ! I have just spent a couple of hours reading through some of your posts. I can not tell you how awestruck I am about stumbling upon my own thoughts and life written with in the pages of your blog! God is GOOD! I AM NOT ALONE! But my story is a little unique because I have literally live the life of the "I KNOW I'm a good Mom. Just look at my kids, well behaved...always, great students, kind, popular, EASY. I was the Parent/Teacher organization president. I was the school board president. I was the mom muttering in my head about the "moms of the naughties". I knew if you would just give me a chance w your kid, I could get him in line, after all look at my kids and I was a special education teacher. Our friends told us our kids were not "normal" and that we had NO idea how hard parenting could be. We didn't believe them, we thought that you just had to be clear w your expectations and consistent w your consuquences and pray for the Lord's guidance, and all would be so easy for "you" too." Honestly, this I exactly how I thought! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And then, 16 years later, c a m e BEN! Our beautiful blond haired, bright eyed ball of fire! God is FUNNY! Our friends are morbidly satisfied! NOW you know, they say. AND THEY ARE RIGHT! Ben is 7 1/2 and in the second grade and is every bit as ADHD and ODD as Bear. Here we are back at the same school, with some of the same teachers, who knew us as the " other parents" now suddenly on the side of the "naughties". Now when we walk into school the staff looks at us with their jaws on the floor, shaking their heads in disbelief. We have been through more meds, counseling sessions, neurofeedback...that I feel like an expert with all the knowledge and science on these conditions but with little know how on how to REALLY HELP MY SON! I know the judgement that comes from the bystanders because I was one of them! I know how fun and easy parenting can be but I also live how lonely, exhausting and overwhelming it can be. THANK YOU for your honest feelings and your love for Bear. It is not easy being a parent of an ODD child but how frustrating it is for our boys! I can not even imagine the pain that goes through their little brains when they are asked and expected to do something they are completely not wired for and then have adults, liike the former me, totally not get it! I could go on forever but I'll stop now, but just know you have one more mom who "gets" you, and is walking a similar journey. ONE DAY AT A TIME! :) Julie

    ReplyDelete
  3. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me..

    I'm from CANADA, I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me any more So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{driayaryi2012@hotmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next 3 days, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past {5} months gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {driayaryi2012@hotmail.com},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Iyaryi for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{driayaryi2012@hotmail.com} And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. IyaryI

    ReplyDelete
  4. We are Ireland based major/Direct providers of Fresh Cut BG, SBLC, POF, MTN, Bonds and CDs and this financial instruments are specifically for lease and sale.We are one of the leading Financial instrument providers with offices all over Europe.
    we always deliver on time and precision as Set forth in the agreement. You are at liberty to engage our leased facilities into trade programs, project financing, Credit line enhancement, Corporate Loans (Business Start-up Loans or Business Expansion Loans), Equipment Procurement Loans (Industrial Equipment, Air crafts, Ships, etc.) as well as other financial instruments issued from AAA Rated bank such as HSBC Bank Hong Kong, HSBC Bank London, Deutsche Bank AG Frankfurt, Barclays Bank , Standard Chartered Bank and others on lease at the lowest available rates depending on the face value of the instrument needed, Our Terms and Conditions are reasonable.

    DESCRIPTION OF INSTRUMENTS:

    1. Instrument: Bank Guarantee (BG)/SBLC (Appendix A)
    2. Total Face Value: 10M MIN to 50B MAX USD or Euro
    3. Issuing Bank: HSBC, Deutsche Bank Frankfurt, UBS or any Top 25 .
    4. Age: One Year, One Day
    5. Leasing Price: 4+ 2%
    6. Sale Price: 32+2%
    7. Delivery by SWIFT .
    8. Payment: MT103-23
    9. Hard Copy: Bonded Courier within 7 banking days.

    If you have need for Corporate loans, International project funding, etc. or if you have a client that requires funding for his project or business, We are also affiliated with lenders who specialize on funding against financial instruments, such as BG, SBLC, POF or MTN, we fund 100% of the face value of the financial instrument.
    Inquiries from agents/ brokers/ intermediaries are also welcomed; do get back to us if you are interested in any of our services and for quality service.

    Name : Patrick Mc Brearty

    E-mail : patrickmcbrearty007@gmail.com

    Skype id : patrickmcbrearty007@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. We are authorized Financial consulting firm that work directly with
    A rated banks eg Lloyds Bank,Barclays Bank,hsbc bank etc

    We provide BG, SBLC, LC, LOAN and lots more for client all over the world.

    Equally,we are ready to work with Brokers and financial
    consultants/consulting firms in their respective countries.

    We are equally ready to pay commission to those Brokers and financial
    consultants/consulting firms.

    Awaiting a favourable response from you.

    Best regards
    WALSH SMITH, ROBERT
    email : info.iqfinanceplc@gmail.com
    skype: cpt_young1

    ReplyDelete
  6. We are authorized Financial consulting firm that work directly with
    A rated banks eg Lloyds Bank,Barclays Bank,HSBC bank etc

    We provide BG, SBLC,and lots more for clients all over the world.

    We are equally ready to work with Brokers and financial
    consultants/consulting firms in their respective countries.

    Our procedures are most reasonable and safest as we operate a 100% financial risk free process which entails that the issuing and receiving bank continues the transaction immediately after DOA is countersigned

    We hope to establish a long term business relationship with you even after this first trial

    Regards
    WALSH SMITH, ROBERT
    email : info.iqfinanceplc@gmail.com
    skype: cpt_young1
    Tel contact: +447031968934
    Whatsapp: +447441393450
    Registered No: 04374045

    ReplyDelete
  7. When he break up with me my heart was filled with pains,sorrow..couldn't just bear it any more because i was madly in love with my boyfriend. Every day and night i thought of him and always wish he would come back to me, i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and came across a testimony that suggested "Dr osofo that he can help get ex back fast a nd also stop a divorce. I felt I should give him a try...I contacted him and he told me what he need to work on my situation and i gave them to him then he did a love spell for me... 48 hours after, my boyfriend called me and came back to me and apologized for leaving me..(cos he hurt me) and promised never to do that again. Since that day, he has really be so nice to me.. he just love me more...am so happy..All thanks to dr osofo. If you have any problem and your want to get your ex back contact him, I was also told he have herbal medicine that cure all kinds of diseases/sickness, contact dr osofo now through his email......( osofo.48hoursolutioncenter@gmail.com )

    ReplyDelete
  8. We are authorized Financial consulting firm that work directly with
    A rated banks eg Lloyds Bank,Barclays Bank,HSBC bank etc

    We provide BG, SBLC,and lots more for clients all over the world.

    We are equally ready to work with Brokers and financial
    consultants/consulting firms in their respective countries.

    Our procedures are most reasonable and safest as we operate a 100% financial risk free process which entails that the issuing and receiving bank continues the transaction immediately after DOA is countersigned

    We offer certifiable and verifiable bank instruments via Swift Transmission from a genuine provider capable of taking up time bound transactions. We are RWA ready to close leasing with any interested client in few banking days

    We hope to establish a long term business relationship with you even after this first trial

    Regards
    WALSH SMITH, ROBERT
    email : info.iqfinanceplc@gmail.com
    skype: cpt_young1
    Tel contact: +447031968934
    Registered No: 04374045

    ReplyDelete
  9. We are direct providers of Fresh Cut BG, SBLC and MTN which are specifically for lease, our bank instrument can be engage in PPP Trading, Discounting, signature project (s) such as Aviation, Agriculture, Petroleum, Telecommunication, construction of Dams, Bridges, Real Estate and all kind of projects. We do not have any broker chain in our offer or get involved in chauffer driven offers.

    We deliver with time and precision as sethforth in the agreement. Our terms and Conditions are reasonable, below is our instrument description.

    The procedure is very simple; the instrument will be reserved on euro clear to be verified by your bank, after verification an arrangement will be made for necessary bank documents and stock testing expenses, the cost of the Bank Guarantee will be paid after the delivery of the MT760,

    DESCRIPTION OF INSTRUMENTS:

    1. Instrument: Bank Guarantee (BG/SBLC) (Appendix A)
    2. Total Face Value: Eur 5M MIN and Eur 10B MAX (Ten Billion USD).
    3. Issuing Bank: HSBC Bank London, Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank Frankfurt.
    4. Age: One Year, One Month
    5. Leasing Price: 6% of Face Value plus 2% commission fees to brokers.
    6. Delivery: Bank to Bank swift.
    7. Payment: MT-103 or MT760
    8. Hard Copy: Bonded Courier within 7 banking days.

    We are ready to close leasing with any interested client in few banking days, if interested do not hesitate to contact me direct. wrightjames931@gmail.com

    Regards,
    Wright
    Skype;
    wrightjames931@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. We are certified & verified Financial Instrument providers of Lease & purchase instruments. We Lease BG/SBLC @ 4+2% and purchase @ 32+2%.

    Kindly contact us for our procedures and be sure that we would surely achieve success

    For further inquiry contact: BERRIDGE, Ian

    Email: bizfinleasingltd@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete


  11. Borrow money here today at 3% interest rate. My company offer all kind of financial services at 3% interest rate and our services is 100% guarantee and risk free. to Apply, contact my company with the amount needed and duration via email: sawda.finance@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete