It's been a bad day with Bear, and tonight I’m tired.
So tired.
Bone tired.
Physically tired.
Emotionally tired.
I’m tired of being abused by my son.
I’m tired of feeling
like I have to tiptoe around my own house for fear of setting him off.
I’m tired of always feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I’m tired of being afraid of my six-year-old.
I'm tired of not knowing what's going to set him off next.
I’m tired of feeling like a prisoner in
my own home.
I’m tired of feeling like my life isn’t my own.
I’m tired of not
being able to plan anything.
I’m tired of not being able to do anything.
I’m
tired of making excuses.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to make excuses.
I’m
tired of feeling like I just don’t have it in me to discipline him anymore
because I don’t want to take the abuse.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m a bad
mother.
I’m just so damn tired.
Have a glass of wine or a strong cup of tea, kiss your husband, tuck your kids in, to to bed and sleep. Somehow in the morning, you'll find the strength to do it all again and leave the rest of us in awe.
ReplyDeleteYou got it partly right, C. I had a cup of coffee, snuggled my husband, tucked my guys into bed, made bread (because I had to, not because I wanted to), wrote a quick blog (because I wanted to, not because I had to), did some work for a client (because that's what you do when you're self-employed and work from home), and then crawled into bed. And now it's morning and I'm ready to leave you in awe once again. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou constantly leave me in awe, Laura!! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteoh Laura, I am so sorry. I have so been there. Many times.
ReplyDeleteHope today is a GOOD day.
At least you know you are not alone. ...and because of you at least I know I am not alone with these thoughts.
ReplyDeleteKarrie and Tara -- Thanks for the support. Some days I just need to vent. Thankfully these days aren't quite so frequent any more.
ReplyDeleteHi Shari -- I'm glad I could help. And no, you're not alone. If you haven't already joined our Facebook page, I'd love it if you would. I'd like it to be a place where we can support each other. There are other ADHD/ODD moms on there, so it's a great place to vent and share.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for you when the teenage years hit....that's what I'm going through now
ReplyDelete